Mountain Biking

A couple of months ago I bought a bargain second-hand Giant hard tail mountain bike, which a mate converted to tubeless tyres.  Since then I have been trying to get out on it fairly regularly, and I have to admit I could see how this dirt stuff could become a bit addictive.  I don't think I can really say that I am a "mountain biker" yet, that would require a minimum competency level which I have not yet attained.  It's not like you are a chef just because you own a frying pan.  Hopefully this year, if I keep doing it regularly enough, I will reach that magical minimum proficiency, whatever that may be, and truly will be able to hold my head high and say I am a Mountain Biker!  Not just a roadie who owns a mountain bike, like I am now.

At the moment when I go and ride the mountain bike, typically I alternate wildly between fun and fear.  What do I mean by this?  In my mind I am flying down the single track, in reality I am doing 12kph.  In my mind I am dropping off these super sick vertical walls, in reality I just managed to ride over a log not much bigger than a twig.  And the whole time my inner monologue is swinging like a pendulum between "this is amazing!" to "ohmyfuckinggod I am going to die!!!!!!".  I assume that, whenever I do reach that minimum competency level, the pendulum inner monologue thing will cease, or at least reduce a lot, and I can just kick back and enjoy the ride.

The Road to Mount Joyce Mountain Bike Park

It probably hasn't helped that most of the time I have been going mountain biking on my own, so in the back of my mind is this fear that I will somehow be one of those people that ends up on the news.  You know the stories I mean: solo idiot gets lost in the bush within 20 metres of the carpark, wanders in circles for three days until the SES rescue him, covered in leaches and ticks.  A few weeks ago I took myself on a mini adventure to Mount Joyce mountain bike park (which is a pretty cool place - all you mountain bike types should go check it out if you haven't already).  Mt Joyce really does feel like you are in Bumfuck Nowhere though, I was literally the only person there.  To make things worse, my Garmin bike computer was telling me it was over 40 degrees out there, and when I rode every single goddamn stick looked like a snake.  One time I must have ridden over a branch that flicked up and whacked me in the knee.  No joke I actually pulled the bike over and checked my knee for puncture marks and thought about sucking out the venom.

These are not the issues I am used to facing when riding a bike.  Not too many problems with snakes on the roadie (although there was that ONE TIME at Mount Warning - HUUUGE python), you are much more at risk on the road from inattentive, aggressive or just bad drivers than snakes.  I've been riding road bikes for years, and a lot of that has been in training for some sort of race.  I definitely still enjoy riding on the road, however often it became focused more on the intended outcome than the actual ride.  Stay in zone two for three hours, do blah blaah blaaah intervals for 40 minutes...  I think that is partly why I have been enjoying riding the mountain bike so much, I don't worry about what my heart rate is doing or how many watts I am putting out (although of course I am putting out a fuck-tonne of watts because I am a mother fucking machine), I just ride and try not to hit a tree.

So I think I will keep doing this mountain biking thing.  If there are any readers out there who are any good at mountain biking, and very patient, feel free to hit me up for a ride.  Maybe you can teach me the way of the dirt and help me become a legit Mountain Biker one day.

(I've also heard mountain bikers drink beer after a ride, that sounds like something I could get good at).